whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
