He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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