who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
