Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
it's great music for shaving your balls
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
