You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
