I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Do vagina's smell?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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