If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
