hell yes lets make some ravioli
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
