he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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