I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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