i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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