I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
