I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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