Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
