she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
