dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
