i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I would fuck him just for his dog
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
