ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
