A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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