do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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