Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
