He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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