my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
