So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
