Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Do vagina's smell?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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