So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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