Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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