1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize