I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
