It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
