i think i have herpe
just one?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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