So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
