I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the day after is always just damage control
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Randomize
