Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
