I must be too annoying 4 u.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
