About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
