u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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