He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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