the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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