when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
