Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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