Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
