he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it was like his penis was on wheels.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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