You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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