she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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