Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
