I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
