Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My bed smells like the plague
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