hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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