Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
