called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
