My first STD was from a foam party
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
