the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
