you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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