He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
