He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
