we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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