so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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