he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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