My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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