Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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