i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize