we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize