I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
where am i from again
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize
