I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
