I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
