question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
the raccoons are back...
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