Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
