That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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