I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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