Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize