We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
