The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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