Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
